You Were Loved
by Amanda Hawthorn
Summary: His gaze fell onto the cluster of stars, remembering how he had spoken of starlight when he and Scully had gone on a journey to find his sister. Maybe one of those stars was where their son now lived, casting his light from the heavens to watch over them all. Spoilers for the season 11 finale MSR


_**A/N I wanted to write a missing scene after the end of the season 11 finale. I may add more chapters if anyone wants to read them, but at the moment it's a one shot. MSR**_

 _ **His gaze fell onto the cluster of stars, remembering how he had spoken of starlight when he and Scully had gone on a journey to find his sister. Maybe one of those stars was where their son now lived, casting his light from the heavens to watch over them all.**_

You Were Loved

They were standing beside one of the many ambulances when Kersh arrived at the scene. Getting out of his car, he'd stood in the middle of what he could only describe as a war zone. There were flashing blue lights everywhere and a diving team along the edge of the dock. Turning full circle to survey the many rescue services, Kersh felt his stomach clench in uneasiness when he was starting to understand what had gone on here. The proverbial shit was hitting the fan, and he knew with absolute certainty that there would be two people at the centre of it all.

He spotted them practically right away, honing in on Skinner's rogue agents. He wasn't issuing empty threats when he told Skinner he intended to end this whole charade once and for all. He wanted their badges and he wanted them out of the FBI for good this time...but even as he approached them with growing irritation, what he saw caused him to stop in his tracks.

Scully was sat perched just inside one of the three ambulances with a heavy grey blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Her eyes were focused on the edge of the dock, staring out at the water while she held on tightly to her partners hand. For a moment Kersh just watched them. He'd heard the rumours even before he'd become their boss; Spooky Mulder and his enigmatic partner. He'd been told of their unbreakable bond, and how the two agents had gone to the ends of the earth and back to save one another from certain death. He never believed any of it of course, electing to believe the rumours were all just hype. That was until he sat in the same room as them…

He'd quickly become aware of how so in tune they were with each other. They seemed to communicate without speaking, and he'd witnessed how Scully could placate Mulder with a simple touch of her hand. Whoever had come up the the idea of putting them together all those years ago certainly couldn't have foreseen this. If the syndicate's plan had been to use Scully to shut the X Files down, then they had failed on all counts. They obviously didn't anticipate the two agents to falling in love.

Shaking himself out of his reverie, Kersh found himself observing the pair, noting how Mulder too was staring out towards the dock. They were both watching silently, as if they were waiting for something to suddenly appear. Kersh followed their gaze, hoping to see what they were both searching for, but all he could see was the dark rippling water highlighted by the moonlit glaze. Turning back towards them, he moved forward, opening his mouth to ask for an explanation, but he stopped when there was a flurry of movement behind him. Turning back around he watched as two divers were pulled up onto the docks, shaking their heads to one of the police officer's questions.

It was the mournful wail which caused him to turn back around, his eyes honing in on Mulder who seemed to be holding Scully upright while she openly sobbed. It only took a moment for Kersh to realise that Mulder too had wet tracks running down his cheeks as he pulled his partner tighter against him.

"He's _gone_ …" Scully sobbed, clinging onto Mulder while her whole body shook. "He's gone... _he's gone…"_

"I know...I…" whatever Mulder tried to say was lost in Scully's hair as he leant in closer and lowered his forehead onto her shoulder.

Kersh watched on silently, feeling much like an intruder in a very private moment. He still didn't fully know what was going on, except he had two agents barely alive and on their way to hospital, and another two wrapped around each other in immense grief. Around him there seemed to be police and paramedics everywhere, but they moved around him like he wasn't even there. In frustration he reached out to stop one of them who was approaching Mulder and Scully, but he was met with a sorrowful stare.

"What the _hell_ is going on around here?" he hissed. "I have two fatally wounded agents and a trail of bodies stretching back for two miles."

"I'm sorry," the officer told him, shaking off his hand to move closer to the two people who both clung to each other as they turned to look at him.

"Did you find him?" Mulder asked, his voice rough with tears. "Did you find our boy?"

"I'm so very sorry," the officer told them softly. "We're calling off the search for him tonight. Visibility is very poor, but we'll begin again at first light."

"He could be anywhere by then," Scully cried, crumbling into tears once more. "Our baby is out there...he's there and he's...he's…"

"I'm so sorry ma'am I really am, but there's nothing more to be done tonight."

"Then I'm going to wait," she told him, pushing away from the man beside her. Lifting her shoulders she shucked the blanket off of her back and made the move forward. Her eyes were littered with grief and determination even as Mulder snaked out a hand and caught her arm.

"Scully…"

"We can't _leave_ him here, Mulder," she told him, openly weeping as she tried to pull her arm free. "He's all alone…"

"I want to find him as much as you do," Mulder told her, his desperate hold on her turning gentler when she stopped struggling to fall back into his embrace again. "I love him too, Scully...but we don't just have William to think of now…"

"I know…" she sobbed softly, shaking her head as she buried her face into his chest, seeking solace in his arms.

Mulder ran his fingertips over her back, moving upwards until he threaded them through her hair. His eyes clamped shut when he tucked her head beneath his chin, swallowing hard at the burning in his throat. He needed to get her away from here and out of the cold night air. She was shivering against him and he knew it wasn't just because of the freezing temperature.

"We'll find a hotel," he told her as he opened his eyes, only to notice Kersh watching them for the first time. Whatever their superior was here to do to them, he really didn't care anymore. All he cared about was the woman standing right here and their children. Regardless whether William was created as an experiment, he'd loved the boy since the day Scully had told him he was his father...that wouldn't go away just because of Smoking man and his lies.

Kersh moved forward, holding up a hand to indicate he wasn't there to impede in their obvious grief. He could see how distraught the two of them were, and he didn't need to be standing closer to know something terrible had happened to their son.

"I thought you should know, Assistant Director Skinner is on his way to the hospital."

"He's alive?" Scully asked, lifting her head off Mulders chest. Her wet eyes widened with relief. "Oh thank God…"

"What happened here agents?" Kersh kept his voice low as he spoke, trying his best not to sound authoritative. "Because you both know I can't just let it go this time. I'll give you two days...and then I want you in my office on Tuesday, 8am sharp to discuss the future of the X Files."

" _X_ Files…" Mulder scoffed, anger dripping through his words. "You can keep them. You can have our badges...you can have it all...we'll be out of your hair for good this time, so you can go back to whatever son of a _bitch_ you're reporting to and tell them they can have it all."

"Agent Mul…"

"Just Mulder," Mulder corrected him, holding his hand up to stop the other man speaking. "No…"

"Agent…"

" _Our_ son is _dead_ ," Mulder told him, the ache in his voice halting any response Kersh may have had. " _Our_ boy...What more can you people possibly want from us? You've already taken everything."

Without waiting for a response, Mulder held on tight to Scully as he started to move them both forward, walking passed the man who was watching them with shock. Neither of them bothered to meet his eyes or respond to whatever he was trying to say. All they could focus on was the blackness of the water which had swallowed their child, and swept him away from them forever.

"Come on," Mulder soothed as he led her towards where he'd left his car. Before he'd come here tonight, he'd been driven by a mixture of love and desperation. He'd finally found his boy. He'd finally met with him face to face and he couldn't believe how much he'd missed him.

"What if they don't find him?" Scully asked brokenly, feeling her heart breaking a little more with every step they took away from the dock. "What if he _heard_ me say those awful things?"

Scully stopped walking, fighting against his embrace as she tried to look back. How could she ever think of William as an experiment. He was her child, hers and Mulder's. They loved him…

"Scully," Mulder's voice rasped against her ear as he tugged her closer, " _Please_...think of the baby...it's not good for either of you being out here."

His words seemed to sink inwards, and she suddenly stopped fighting him. Her body trembled as she wrapped her arms around him, fearing for their unborn child just as much as he was. She nodded against his chest and allowed him to manoeuvre her towards his car. He was already protective; she knew he would be from the moment she'd told him she was pregnant. She wouldn't take this away from him, not when he'd missed so much with William. This time he was by her side; sharing the joy he'd missed the first time around...but how she had wished for him there, not just to share the shock of it, but throughout all of it from the morning sickness to the first sonogram.

Climbing into the car, Scully settled back against the seat and took a deep breath. She was lost in memories, ones which had haunted her for so many years...and it wasn't until she felt Mulders warm palm against her stomach that she realised just how much he already loved this baby. He was a father, caring and protective...and he was that for William too. It didn't matter whether their son wasn't his biologically, he was still the man who had been there to change the first dirty diaper while she tried to rest. He'd been there, rocking him, walking him around their small living room and doing everything a new father should. Her hand came up to cover his, holding it there so their child could feel how much it was loved.

"I didn't know how to tell you," her voice was soft when she turned her head to look at him across the seat. "When I found out about William, I never got the chance...but I kept hoping…"

"Scully," Mulder leaned back against his seat and looked at her adoringly. "He's my son...I would have given anything to come back to both of you...Anything."

"I know," swallowing hard against the ever present tears, Scully's gaze lowered down to their joined hands laying over her stomach. An errant tear broke free to roll down her cheek but before she could swipe it away, Mulder leaned across the seat to catch it with his thumb.

"I'm not going anywhere this time," he promised. "I'll be there through all of it."

Nodding her head, she offered him a watery smile as he withdrew his hand from her cheek. When he sat back against the drivers seat again, she watched his eyes turn towards the bustle of people around the dock and felt her heart ache.

"I wanted to bring him home," she whispered brokenly, tightening her hand over his. "I just wanted him home…"

"I know," he told her as he moved his hand beneath hers and turned his palm into hers. "I wanted the same thing...but all we can do now is wait until they find...his... _body._..and we'll bring him home, Scully...we'll bring him home..."

Tears slipped over her cheek unchecked as she released his hand and nodded before she reached back to pull the seat belt across her chest. She stared out to the docks, her eyes never leaving the scene even when Mulder reversed the car and drove them away.

000

Mulder unlocked the door to their hotel room and pushed it open. Ushering Scully inside, he moved in behind her, locking the door behind him. His eyes watched her worriedly when she sat down onto the edge of the mattress and slipped her coat from her shoulders. Reaching forward, Mulder took the coat from her hands and hung it up onto the hook beside the door. She looked so tired, and he couldn't understand why he hadn't noticed it before now.

"There's a pizza place down the street," he told her softly, moving towards her before crouching down in front of her. "Why don't you take a shower and I'll get some food."

"I'm not hungry, Mulder."

"I know, but you need to eat," he smiled, reaching out to take hold of her hand. "Please just try...okay…"

Squeezing his fingers, Scully lifted her eyes to his and offered him a tight smile. Her stomach was already rebelling at the thought of food right now, especially greasy food with so much congealed cheese all over it.

"Maybe something small," she told him, keeping her voice soft as she spoke. "This baby doesn't seem to like anything I eat."

Mulder's eyes flared with understanding before he lowered his gaze down to her stomach. He'd missed all of this in the early stages of her pregnancy with William, and when they got back home he was determined to find all of the old pregnancy books he'd read through when he'd got his head out of his ass after his return. He didn't intend on missing anything this time around.

"Tell me what you want to eat and I'll find it."

"I just…" shaking her head, she lowered her gaze down to their joined hands as tears once again flooded her eyes. "When Skinner told me about William, we were in the car on our way to you."

"Skinner knew?" Mulder asked, dropping to his knees before her. "How the hell did he know?"

"I…" Scully's bottom lip trembled as she fought to remain in control. "I...refused to believe him...his voice became this whole blur...but…"

"You started to have doubts?" He asked, lowering his head a little to search her eyes. "I know you always had those doubts, right up until William's birth. I did too."

"But we loved him, regardless of our fears…" she sniffed. "Even before he was born...but now, to hear he wasn't created by us...I...can't…"

"He's _ours,_ " Mulder told her, squeezing her fingers as he spoke. "I'm his father, and I don't care about the details of how he came to be...he is _our_ son…"

Tears slipped over Scully's cheeks as she clutched his hand tighter against her knees. "I just wanted to see him... _him_ , not whatever face he wanted me to see."

"Scully…"

"Why wouldn't he let me see his face, Mulder?" she asked, sobbing out the words while broke apart before him.

"I don't know, honey," he whispered, the soft endearment slipping from his lips as he moved closer, maneuvering onto his knees to pull her against him. His own eyes watered, grief and emptiness causing his heart to ache. "I wish I could give you the answers, but I can't…"

"But you saw him?" she asked, lifting her head to search his eyes. "He let you see him?"

Mulder swallowed hard as he nodded his head, unable to forget how immensely powerful those feelings had become. William hadn't pushed him away, but he hadn't returned his embrace either...but he'd listened and he'd tried to save him when the others had come for him. That had to count for something...didn't it...

"He was so beautiful," Scully told him, weeping softly when she remembered how much she loved their child. "I could always see so much of you in him…"

"When I saw him, I saw _you_ …" his voice wavered a little when the emotion became too much. "I called him William, and he didn't tell me to stop… _it's_...like he knew me..."

"Tell me about him," she pleaded softly, her face still wet with tears. "Please Mulder, I need to know…"

"He's tall," Mulder chuckled, when he remembered how he'd had to reach up a little to wrap his arms around him. "He's so much taller than me…"

When Scully didn't speak, Mulder clutched her hand tighter. He tried to remember every tiny detail about their son, something good that she could take away from this awful night. He knew he was talking of the boy in present tense, but he just couldn't allow himself to dwell on what he'd seen. He didn't want to remember William's last moments, wearing his face with a bloody bullet hole in his forehead

"He has your eyes…" he told her, his gravelled voice lowering as he leaned forward to touch his forehead against hers. "He knew me...and he knew you...he knew how much we loved him, Scully. Throughout all of this, he'd always known that much…"

"I just wish…"

"I know," he whispered softly when her voice trailed away. "I wanted him home with us too."

Scully released a shaky breath before she slowly pulled herself backwards. She met his eyes, seeing just as much pain in his...and maybe it was time they both gave up on this quest that had driven both of them for so many years...if they could ever escape it…

"When they find him...I want him with my sister," she told him, keeping her gaze focused on his. "I know your parents are together, but Missy…"

"Hey, it's okay," Mulder pulled one of his hands free from hers to lift it to her cheek. His fingertips cradled her delicate skin and he found himself agreeing without question. "Melissa will keep him safe…"

The weight of his words hung in the air. It made everything so final. They were talking of laying their son to rest, selfishly placing his body with their family even though he had the one he'd grown up with...but they needed to do this...Scully needed this…

"Why don't you get some rest," he spoke softly as he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "I'll go find us something to eat."

Nodding wordlessly, she shifted her body backwards and lowered herself onto the bed. She kept her eyes on him, hoping he knew just how much she loved him. When he got to his feet, he reached down to her shoes, slipping them from her feet one by one, dropping them to the floor before pulling the comforter from the end of the bed to drape it over her body.

"I'll be back soon," he told her, his soft voice thick with emotion even as he opened the door to step outside into the cold night air. Pulling the door shut behind him, he lifted his head to look up at the darkened sky. His gaze fell onto the cluster of stars, remembering how he had spoken of starlight when he and Scully had gone on a journey to find his sister. Maybe one of those stars was where their son now lived, casting his light from the heavens to watch over them all.

Blinking back the fresh wash of tears from his eyes, he tried to focus on the next step in their journey together. They still had each other, and they still had so much to look forward to. They would get through this, both of them together...for their unborn child's sake they had to…

And they would...

Thanks for reading


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